mmmelissa:

It’s kind of astonishing how your first meaningful relationship changes you. When you first get into a relationship, you usually change your status on facebook, everyone’s comments are along the lines of “finally!”, you take tons of pictures and show off your newly affirmed love because you really don’t know any better at that point. You could fill dictionaries with the sweet letters you’ve written about them. You’ve never had any previous experience so you sort of just enjoy the ride and wing it along the way. It’s a trial and error experimenting phase at that point. You don’t exactly know what you’re doing, but everything feels right.

After it ends, your outlook on relationships inevitably change. It’s a little scary moving on. It’s weird thinking of liking someone again, and letting them in. You’re not so ready to change your status on facebook or broadcast your relationship. Even something as small and insignificant as a relationship change makes you wary. In your last relationship you loved the chase but at the same time couldn’t wait to call them yours. Now you want to take it slow and it’s understandable. The impetuousness is gone and has been replaced with sound thinking. You remember the mistakes and the fights and try to learn from what went wrong and what went right.

You don’t rush into relationships anymore. You don’t just want to be with anybody. Somehow your ex set a standard— good or bad, that you will subconsciously hold other people to. Your first love is the most important one because that was the only time in your life that you gave your all to someone without inhibition or fear. It’s hard to completely let go.

You’re different in so many ways and it’s impossible to go back to how you were before they happened. You never really get over your first love, because little did you know that one person can change you and you might not realize it.

(via rainbowsheepsunshine)